What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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