Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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