I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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