I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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