I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
