Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
