I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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