Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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