my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
