I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
