did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize