All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
