Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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