I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize