Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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