The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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