I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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