The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I supernannyed him into submission
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
