Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
