Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
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A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk