Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole