I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So many bounce houses so little time
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much