possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.