Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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  (859): I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver. http://tfl.nu/rtt7
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.

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  (978): suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg. http://tfl.nu/rk1z
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.

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  (918): i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break. http://tfl.nu/35mv
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day

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  (617): started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day http://tfl.nu/20xi
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  (512): View more from Texas

  and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through

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  (512): and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through http://tfl.nu/6tx9
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  (914): View more from New York

  Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem

  (914): View more from New York

  Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.

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  (914): Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem (914): Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty. http://tfl.nu/8j05
  Replies (53) Good night (7230) Bad night (2266)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong

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  (330): he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong http://tfl.nu/36h0
  Replies (3) Good night (859) Bad night (1631) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."

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  (204): All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday." http://tfl.nu/uy4c
  Replies (5) Good night (986) Bad night (1237)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Are we hungover?

  (713): View more from Texas

  I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.

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  (254): Are we hungover? (713): I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it. http://tfl.nu/8xx2
  Replies (5) Good night (1888) Bad night (574)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?

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  (513): One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that? http://tfl.nu/b48m
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (362)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol

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  (814): Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol http://tfl.nu/gohb
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (445)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.

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  (651): As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week. http://tfl.nu/bh6r
  Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (297)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center

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  (404): Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center http://tfl.nu/qm46
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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  (610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e
  Replies (17) Good night (1337) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt

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