Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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