she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.