Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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