C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
