My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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