just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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