Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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