i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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