We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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