I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
