After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She needs sedatives and a leash
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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