just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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