his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
