Its about making memories worth repressing
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
