I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it glows. i had to have it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
