its not stalking. its research.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
