Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
