I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize