I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
