I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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