i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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