Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
i think my tv is drunk
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid