and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex