We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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