It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize