Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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