Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
