My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Welp...herpes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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