So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
