I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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