i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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