it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
MIDGETS
????
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
