I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
