Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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