soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
