Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Floor bacon is actually really good
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
