porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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