there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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