So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i barfeds in our rink
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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