very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
