The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
