That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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