Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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