forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
