who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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