We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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