are you so shy because you have an std?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
