the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
